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Westboro Baptist Church
I'm Sorry, Were you looking for Hell? Westboro Baptist Church WAS God's Third Favorite Church after the Catholic Church (Stephen's church at number 1) and Landover Baptist Church, at number 2. However since they have decided to denounce the greatest media company ever, FOX, as well as Rush Limbaugh and their biggest mistake, denouncing the great, powerful Stephen Colbert, has proved that they hate America, which means they are hippie , bear -loving commies . They are a satanic cult and are all going to the worst layer of hell imaginable. Part of the church's left side was destroyed by an RPG-7 in a recent attempt by patriots to silence Fred Phelps. Unfortunately, No one was hurt. Where They Went Wrong The Westboro Baptist Church has come under the idea that God hates America, because liberals have allowed gays to have rights on God's Country. While we support the fight against the gay-bear agenda, we as Real Americans do not appreciate being accused alongside liberals of allowing gays to infest our country, as we are doing the best that we can to stop the gay infestation (we are already doing overtime as it is). In addition, they say that the reason our troops die is because we let gays run free. Anyone who doesnt support our troops is a hippie commie and that is not acceptable. Since the Westboro Baptist Church is full of hippie commies, it is evident that God hates them and is sending them to hell. They also claim that God hates AMERICA which everyone knows is false because God's favorite country is America which is why he only speaks English. Other claims include that God hates the Roman Catholic Church, which everyone knows is God's favorite church. Other offenses crimes against humanity punishable by death, that they have done include denouncing geniuses such as Prophets Rush Limbaugh , Glenn Beck , Sean Hannity , and Bill O'Reilly (aka Papa Bear). Their biggest mistake of all was claiming that God hates the all-knowing and all-powerful master of truthiness , Stephen Tyrone ColbertStephen Colbert . By doing this they have vowed to hurt the Baby Jesus by committing these atrocities that make the Baby Jesus cry. Their punishment should give each members a choice of: 1.having a maple syrup enema and then being forced to sit on an ant hill, or 2. having their ass holes sewn shut, being forced to eat spicy, Mexican food, and then being fed ex-lax. However, they have somewhat done something right for exposing evil hippie liberal lies found on the satanic cult MSNBC. Westboro Baptist Church Factoids: *Liberals hate WBC because it takes their job, which is hating America (They are currently in competition with Michael Moore) *Shirley Phelps-Roper has been a guest on Sean Hannity 's show and got nailed in the process...twice *The members of this church are secret, closet homosexuals who protest to cover up their sodomite feelings for one another *All members of the church are related, therefore their children are abominations and products of incest *Since they all are evil, hippie liberal, commies, they along with Nancy Pelosi enjoy kicking puppies and eating aborted fetuses *All members of WBC have a cactus implanted into their ass at birth *The Baby Satan has a special layer made up for all members of WBC where he will sodomize them every night for all of eternity *Members of WBC have no souls, in that they are alike gingers *Members of WBC hate South Park and it's prophet Eric Cartmen *Pastor Phelps pleasures himself by thinking of pictures of Stephen in his underwear while masturbating with sandpaper *Female member's vaginas are lined with rusty nails and arsenic *Pastor Phelps makes love to bears *Members of WBC like to smell their own farts and eat their own excrement (which they are able to pull from their brains) *The WBC should be made into a human centipede *Pastor Phelps made Steve Drain his bitch *WBC believes that King Henry VIII was gay. Wars Westboro Foresees * with the San Francisco Zoo * with Sweden * With dirty Hippie Jesus * actors who portray the gays *Our Savior's killers *Libural children *with Nerds External Tubes *Real Americans joining cause to stop the gay disease *Westboro Baptist Church to Protest Obama's girls as spawns of Satan *Westboro to save the children *Westboro Baptist Church National Anthem *God Hates Nerds *Westboro deceived by Gotcha Journalism *Westboro to protest Terror Babies *Westboro Baptist Church denounces all knowing and all powerful Stephen Colber, condemning them to hell! Those Bastards!!! *WBC to fight off Satanic Menace: Ozzy Osbourne *HOLY SHIT!!!!